Small Talk Tips To Make Conversation Easy

These small talk tips will make it easy for you to master the art of conversation which is useful to help us connect socially in our daily life. We need to make small talk with the people at the office, waiting for the bus or the train, buying coffee at the café, in the library, even with our family. When you know how to make small talk with people you don't know well, like your boss, your colleagues or your long lost aunt at a family occasion, you will feel more calm and confident.

It doesn't have to be painful to impress people you want to see more of. Making small talk can be fun - even for those of you who are very shy. This can be learned. The secret is to practise - a lot and everywhere!

Most people start off by talking about the weather. There is a trick to making this topic really work. Talking generally about the weather doesn't lead to any interesting conversation. If you must do this try making a comment like this: " Its been a really mild summer this year, don't you think?" and without missing a beat, "What do you think winter will be like this year?". This establishes rapport and once you have made this start quickly move the conversation on to more personal topics like those listed below. Remember, that even in a small talk conversation, you need to give a little of yourself and listen a lot. In this way the conversation will move back and forth just like its supposed to do.

Socially confident people introduce information about themselves earlier in the conversation. Don't wait for the other person to ask your name. Introduce yourself early and ask for their name. Then use it. They say we need to say something 5 times aloud before we truly remember it. So remember to use their name when you ask them a question. Follow up with a question about them like those listed below and look for interests in common.

Here are some small talk tips to move the conversation onto more a more personal level:

- use the environment. Make a comment about your surroundings.
- share little things about recent events; movies, new cafes you have tried
- how about a book you recently read; ask what interesting books they have read
- keep up with current events and share these: news, sports, community events
- ask open ended questions beginning with what, where, when
- remember to listen and be enthusiastic about what you are hearing
- give compliments about an article of clothing and ask where they got it
- relax, make eye contact and shake hands when you meet

Never forget that people you meet are often feeling just as nervous as you. When you use these small talk tips you will be able to put them at ease. The key to becoming and conversation master is to start talking to everyone you meet in your daily life.

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Why Downward Dating Is Harmful

Are you dating people that you cannot afford to be with? I don't just mean fiscally, I mean mentally, emotionally, socially, educationally, spiritually and or economically. When you choose someone new to date, are you on an equal playing field?

Dating on an unequal playing field is a source of frustration and can become out-and-out upsetting. I have coined the phrase "Downward dating." Downward facing dog is a traditional yoga pose that Stretches and strengthens the whole body while relaxing the mind. Unlike downward dating which only eats away at your sanity and puts you in a pile of confusion. In the end, you wind up blaming yourself for the relationships demise. As with many of life's choices there is no one to blame and many lessons to learn.

The way your dates treat you and the opportunities that come your way are determined by your attitude, energy and your sense of self. Often times, it feels good to blame others, but you know intuitively that it is not right. One of the only things you can possibly get from downward dating is some instant physical satisfaction which is often very nice but that lasts for about a good sixty seconds. However, you're not making the kinds of connection that you desire. You are not getting the emotional connection you desire, so you're left upset, angry and frustrated.

I have heard dating described as a gladiator sport. It is not for the faint of heart. Dating will test you and can shred every ounce of confidence you have or wreck havoc on your self image. While dating, whatever insecurities you are dealing with will surface and leave you not even recognizing yourself.

Do you experience yourself and realize that you are you dating the same physical type of man/woman over and over again. Do you have a physical type, i.e. tall, blonde, bald, hulking, etc. and are not interested in leaving that type behind? In the past, I have been guilty of dating like that. Thus not making room for anyone else to enter my sphere and all the while, still looking for a different response and treatment. Duh! However, are you not ready to leave your type behind but still want something different? Do you want and or are you interested in stopping this kind of behavior? Do you want a different results?

Before you go out on another single date start, looking at what you don't like about your dating habits. Start by asking yourself about what you're experiencing; see if it is a reflection of how you treat yourself. If you cannot change or are not ready to date, you are doomed to continue creating more of the same dating situation. This can be said for any situation that does not work for you anymore. It you want to date differently, you have to start giving yourself something first. If you want to date better people, you have to become a better person. If you want to be respected, you have to give respect to yourself and then to others, if you want to improve the quality of your dates you have to improve the quality of yourself. Start by asking questions "What can I contribute to my dates?" What you receive from any dating situation will transform when you accept yourself.

It is unfortunate but most of the recipients of downward dating love the idea of dating you. They love what you do, what you have but they subconsciously are frightened that you may not be interested in them. They are subconsciously don't like what you are, as you represent all that they are not and this dredge's up their insecurity. Downward dating people derive pleasure from you because it gives them an opportunity to inflate their already timorous ego.

They love what you represent, that you have an education and the social accoutrements or any other accolades whether earned, learned or born with. They love that you have your own money which is oftentimes, more than theirs. On the other hand, with downward dating there is no dedication. It's just bragging which could later be at your mental expense and discredit.

Some downward dating partners are only capable of trying to break you down. The relationship is lop-sided. Your partner can become spiteful, downright nasty and mean spirited. Downward daters are for the most part only really interested in themselves and making you wrong. Their level of insecurity is very high. The experience of downward dating is one of insecurity and belief that internally that they don't deserve something.

Downward daters will continual ask questions that you can't answer in the way they want. "Why are you really interested in me" Duh, you're interested in them because you like them. They cannot believe that and are extremely adamant that you're not being truthful. They make statements like that you're trying to use them They do not hear or listen to what is being said in a conversation. They only hear their internal conversation and make up things that were not being said or experienced.

Downward dater is not based in reality. Downward dates and daters come in all shapes and sizes color and crude. This incessant dialogue is very dysfunctional. This is when you leave the interaction (Run now!)

Many people have downward dated at some point in their life. Even if you can fake amnesia and plead the 5th you've done it.

Here is my experience in downward dating:

I dated a man with less money then me. I knew upfront that he could not afford to attend a lot of the things that I invited him to, so I would foot the bill if I really wanted to go. I didn't have a problem with sharing, but when my sharing became a problem, the relationship become uncomfortable. His ego, was getting a little roughed up about not having extra play money. I did not do it deliberately. If I was digging down into my savings or spending above my means, I would say something.

Unfortunately, my guy had not mastered this concept, he had difficulty expressing his feelings about my money. Our relationship became increasingly difficult and it became progressively more difficult having certain conversations. So he proceeded to make me wrong. Eventually we broke up.

Today my opinion is if your venturing into a situation like this,you're probably setting yourself up for failure. Work with me here, you have spent a number of years building up your education and that education has increased your socio economic standing only to find that you are not dating on an level playing field. You have little in common with them and furthermore they resent you for it. It is important to date with clarity. It takes time to get to know the people. It is also important that you give yourself time to get to know the people you're interacting with and that you do not compromise your spirit.

I know many men and woman complain that they are sad and that they feel alone. Theoretically, we are all. Even in a relationship, amongst family, friends or in a group, we can feel alone. Alone, is a feeling, not our truth. The key is to accepting being alone is checking whether this is true for you. Then choosing what you want to do with what you know. Rejecting your findings that you are alone will not only make you feel better about being alone, it will prevent you from jumping into relationships that do not support your energy and what you are up to in your life. It is healthy to look at yourself with a critical yet compassionate eye so that you can make the decisions that only you can and will say are right for you. If you let lonely choose for you, you'll be in a relationship that will have you whirling and not in a good way.

How to stay away from Downward Dating.

Remember downward dating unlike Downward Facing Dog Does not tone and strengthen your back. It can however give you great sex for 60 seconds and fabulous eye /arm candy. But, if you're serious about having a relationship stay away at all costs.

Date people that have the same or similar kinds of interests.

Value yourself so that people will value you and if they don't, you can walk away intact.

Give yourself permission to do what you desire.

Date people that have interests that interest or might interest you.

Take time to get to know people you date, but first take time to know yourself.

Date people that have similar values by finding out and asking those questions that freak you out.

Date people who value you making plans and can be honest about what they can and cannot do.

Date people that are flexible, will try new things and speak up about them.

Date people who can create and have with clear agreement with you.

Date people who will remember your successes in the relationship not your failures.

Breakdowns are opening for breakthroughs. Life without breakdowns is no life at all.

Date people and do your best and realize that dating is a process which can have you realize your humanness.

Date by expecting the best to happen and know that your will experiences triggers from you past.

Date with an open heart or else don't date - In fact do your life with an open heart.

Improve the quality of yourself by being open to being fearless and free.

Ask yourself serious heartfelt questions, the one that makes you feel uncomfortable.

Have a look at your attitude and level of gratitude.

What do you like or dislike about your dating habits? Take a look. Don't judge just investigate.

Get rid of your physical typing, The physical typing was created in your past by a very young you.

Stay in the present moment leave you past relationships in the past.

Live in the now date in the now.

Everyone, as we all know, is different and not everyone is compatible. So, it is important to realize if you cannot accept a person for all they are and all they are not, then you need to leave them alone. Maybe your date has not read a book in a number of years. Maybe they only eat what they was raised on and everything else is off limits. Or you're a traveler and they're a couch traveler. Your priorities are so completely different. You find yourself trying to plan things with them and they seem really keen, but when it comes time to commit to the plans, they disappear off the planet and your left wondering is this the same person.

Unload Emotional Baggage That Suffocates Your Authentic Self Expression Today

Do you know that many people are unconsciously programmed to live lives that fulfill the expectations of others rather than their own? Do you know this is why many feel depressed, empty inside, inhibited, anxious, afraid to make mistakes or try new things, like a fraud, blocked in their creative expression, frustrated, stuck, unworthy, unsuccessful, weak, lost, needy, like they lack a sense of direction or purpose and like victims? Finally, do you know that it is now possible to expose this subconscious web of suffocating programming and permanently delete it thereby giving you back the freedom to breathe and express your True Authentic Self? Want to learn more about how you can get your life back?

You see the reason that many of you feel unwanted, unlovable, inadequate, worthless, defective, deficient, unattractive, insecure and so on is because you were bred and born to fulfill the needs of your parents and not because your Authentic Self expression was truly desired here.

Does that shock you?

Well it shouldn't because if you look at how you have lived out your life you may find that you're not feeling completely fulfilled. Why is that?

Well because it's not "your" life that you're living rather that which your parents (or other "important" people) in your life expected you to live.

You see, when a baby is born they come into the world in a "baby body" which makes them inherently unable to care for themselves. That makes them both vulnerable and dependent. That dependent state means that they must readily accommodate themselves the expectations of their environment if they are to survive.

Accommodation means sacrificing themselves or their Authentic Self expression to the expectations of the caretaking adults in their life. In many cases the parents expectations are self serving i.e. they are driven by the parents own unfulfilled dreams/desires.

An example of this goes something like this.

As poor immigrants a couple has a son and they have high expectations that their son will become a wealthy and successful doctor. These expectations are communicated both directly and indirectly to the son as he grows up. In an attempt to make the parents love and approve of him he finds himself doing well at school and gravitating towards a study in medicine. During his studies and later into his career he feels unfulfilled, unhappy with his choice of career, empty inside, confused about what he really wants, trapped and afraid to explore new things.

This is an example of an individual who has followed his parent's expectations and in the process has literally lost himself or his Authentic Self. In other words he has become a slave to his parents' expectations that he continues to carry within, control his life and suffocate his life force.

Such expectations are stored in the subconscious mind, in the form of a "program", and from there "pull the strings" on the person's life choices. This invisible subconscious "programming" can however now be completely exposed and permanently erased much like how old computer software is erased.

When this happens the individual begins to literally wake up from the programmed trance like state and "remember" who they truly are, what their innate dreams and desires for themselves are and become able to easily, effortlessly, confidently and securely start living them out.

This may seem hard to believe but I have seen how what appear to be huge and insurmountable obstacles shift rapidly, effortlessly and joyfully when one's Authentic Self is restored and returned to the "helm" of one's life.

How is this done, you ask?

Well, a new process was developed a decade ago that permanently and completely erases any/all early childhood emotional baggage in the form of negative memories, expectations, limiting beliefs etc. that form the invisible web that imprisons individuals in false lives.

An experience of this process is available to you free if you go to the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to help restore you to life.

Is Old Emotional Baggage Stifling Your Authentic Self Expression?

Do you feel like your True Authentic Self is being suffocated by years of emotional programming from social and familial expectations that take priority over you? Do you live in fear that you may inadvertently express your True Self only to be rejected, criticized, ostracized, abandoned and humiliated etc.? Do you realize that means that you exist only as a slave to this programming and that means you are not really alive? Finally, do you know that it is now possible to permanently and powerfully free your self from this bondage, reclaim your right and ownership to your life and restore your self confidence, self esteem, personal integrity, emotional independence, resilience, and much more? Want to learn more?

The Authentic Self is the experience one has when they feel self confident, self assured, spontaneous, relaxed, peace of mind, clear, focused, resilient, empowered, purposeful, self trusting, self directed, free, independent, emotionally secure, self sufficient, positive, optimistic, joyful, fulfilled and so on.

So how many times in your life have you had such an experience?

Yes, perhaps you have had it fleetingly. If I tell you however that this is, and was, supposed to be your continuous and ever present experience of your self would you be shocked, saddened, angry, feel cheated or betrayed?

Well, the fact is, and you already know this in your Heart, that what was just said is the truth exactly because of the emotional reactions you've just had.

So try this, place one hand over your Heart and as if you are speaking to yourself from there simply affirm to yourself that you desire (if you do) to have this become your ever present experience of your self and of your life.

Then take a moment and tune into your internal experience and notice how you feel.

Some of you may be surprised to experience some of the very feelings that are associated with the Authentic Self. So what's going on, you ask?

Well, it turns out that probably for the first time in your life you have begun to experience what I refer to as your Essence or your Life Force Energy (LFE) emanating from and through the Heart. In other words you, i.e. your LFE is returning to and reintegrating with your mind/body through your "Heart Portal"!

Now you might ask, where was my LFE all this time if it wasn't in my mind/body?

Well that is a good question!

It turns out that from the moment you were born here your received messages that you i.e. your Authentic Self was not actually wanted or welcome. In other words you were born to meet the expectations of the adults in your life and that means you were essentially bred to become a slave/servant to those individuals.

How do I know this, you ask?

Well, have you ever felt like you were living out someone else's life expectations i.e. your parents for instance? Do you feel fulfilled, happy, and joyful in your current life situation? Do you ever feel an internal emptiness or like there is a lot more to you and to life that seems to elude you? Do you ever feel like a fraud inside?

These experiences are all a consequence of the fact that you sacrificed your self (your Authentic Self) in order to get the love, approval, support, acceptance, validation, etc. from the adults around you upon whom you depended for your survival.

This strategy may perhaps be a suitable one for a helpless, vulnerable and dependent child but is it suitable for what is supposed to be a mature, emotionally independent and capable adult? Absolutely not!

Yet, many individuals, without realizing it still walk around in the child trance like state where they sacrifice their authenticity and all of the positive resources inherent in it in order to maintain dependent relationships with others.

Do that sound satisfying to you?

Well, if not then I want you to know that it is now possible to wake up from those dependent child like states simply by permanently erasing or deleting the early childhood emotional baggage in the form of negative memories and conditioning that keeps you a prisoner.

A decade ago a new coaching process was developed that could do exactly this. An experience of this process is available to you for free if you go the web site below where you can request a free introductory telephone/Skype coaching consultation that will begin to help restore you to wholeness today.

This article is sponsored by medical case study.

Another 3 Ways To Balance Work and Life

The balance between work and life has become more complex than is necessary. Counsellors and other practitioners often make suggestions that end up complicating life. The balance is to know what accept and what to reject when offered advice by those that provide it.

In order to balance your work and life, you may need to make some minor changes in your daily routine, learn how to control your stress level while at the same time dealing with emotional issues as they arise. The main challenge is to reduce stress and be happy.

1. Remember that there is always tomorrow. You may think that is procrastination but it could also be happiness or and less stress. Do the most urgent tasks today and leave the others for the next day. However, ensure to pay the bills on time and follow-up on repairs. Some things must be done by specific dates and they should be completed on time. Others may cause discomfort but otherwise will not create any real problems.

2. Make a plan to divide the day between work and life including family, quiet time or meditation and rest. These are all important in life and will seldom share equally or fairly. Work may actually take up most of the time when you include going and coming from work. If you are lucky enough to work from home, that also has it warts and rewards so consider carefully before deciding that this is for you. Meditation is best done in the morning or at night but if you are feeling stressed in the middle of the day, take a few moments, close your eyes and send love, happiness and peace to the whole world; this will make you feels much better and ready to get back to work.

3. Finally establish a daily routine for work, your family, volunteering and relaxing.. If you practice arriving at work on time and leaving on time, you will find it easier to keep to the routine. Set aside time for family and friends and let them know when you will be free to see or hear them. If working from home, set a time to begin, take breaks and end. Let your family know by setting up a calendar and your friends by telling them when to call. You may also want mute your phone during the time that you do not want to be disturbed.

Sometimes things don't go as you expect, the best you can do is to plan and implement as much of the items on the plan as possible. When necessary spend some quiet time, visualize and create a new plan. Build in space for unforeseen circumstances as they always arise and when we least expect them.

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Overcome Low Self Confidence and Meet Your True Self

It's within you to be able to change states and emerge into another way of thinking, perceiving and approaching how you operate, including how you overcome low self confidence. That is still just more of a fog of negative feelings and perception.

Whether you know it or not, as a human being you have enormous and untapped potential. You have unlimited talents and genius. You just haven't been taught to reach deep enough and start exercising them. Due to societal and cultural dictates, we've forgotten the true powers we have.

Waking up to another You

The first thing to do is stop your limiting train of thoughts, and get back into the present moment. This is how you shut down the thoughts and visions that cloud your own capabilities. One reason you may feel a lack of self confidence is your conscious observation and attention to those limiting thoughts. You must clear your mind and shift to thoughts and visions of self capability, clarity, certainty and decisiveness. Quite often, sometimes it's a matter of just deciding to be more self assertive, making decisions and taking a first step.

Garbage In, Garbage Out

Next is dealing with this condition on a deeper level. There are past experiences and memories that can go back to your earlier days. You had instances in childhood triggering this lack of confidence. Maybe someone, other kids, a parent, or a teacher said something to anchor a feeling of inability. However, by now it's residing in your subconscious. You may not even remember it until after you delve beneath the surface and search. You do have access to your subconscious. And it's critical you find the memory or instance, past or present, and clear it.

Effective Techniques

There are ways of accessing these issues and clearing them to make a clean canvass in which to envision a new self. You can use a particular once called EFT or Emotional Freedom Technique. It's a series of tapping certain points and simultaneously engaging in a self dialogue. To the uninitiated, it may look silly, but it works! Even if you've heard of it but never tried it, I highly suggest it looking further into this effective technique.

You can also do a process that provides a way to easily go in and bypass what's called "critical mind" that is the logical, left brain part. This is the part of mind that protects you from what it deems impossible, not realistic and tries to keep you a state of status quo. It wants to stay within the boundaries of what you already know or think. After you bypass this you can instruct your higher consciousness to install more empowering thoughts.

1) Take three deep breaths

2) Inhale relaxation

3) Exhale tension and any self limiting doubt and beliefs

4) Count from 5 down to 1 while breathing

5) Each number getting smaller and smaller until it disappears

6) Now engage your higher conscious and instruct to it bring forth visions and a new train thought of self capability, certainty and clarity

There are such techniques that involve both Eastern approaches that have been known and implemented over thousands of years with more recent Western techniques. In fact they simultaneously tap the body's energy system while delving into the subconscious realm of that fog of limitation. It's been known as energy-field therapy. In my opinion this dual approach is the most powerful.

We are in fact made of energy. And tapping into this current of energy and reaching the subconscious at the same time makes for exciting and unlimited possibilities. This means you can go in to the mind and form new self identities, feelings, ideas, visions and any potentiality you wish for yourself.

Remember this; to the extent you believe you have no power or control over the direction of your life, or you abilities, you volunteer to give up your inner abilities. There is such a thing called Self Efficacy. This is defined as your belief in your abilities to exercise influence over the events that effect you.

This article is brought to you by SINGLES.

Indigos and a Frustrating Life Journey

You are here to play your part in bringing heaven on earth. You may have a sense of having a big purpose, but don't know what it is. Does your path have ups and downs? Are you frustrated that people don't understand and change slowly if at all? Lots of indigos and non-indigos feel a pull towards purpose, but ache to know what it is and to get to work on it. Here you have all these incredible gifts - empathy, huge heart, see elegant win/win solutions, intelligence, high sensitivity, creativity, integrity, sense of justice (to name a few) and you don't know where you're going with them. This is a frequent challenge that I hear from indigos.

Consider someone with many gifts like you who might have experienced similar emotions. Jesus possessed uncommon and powerful gifts and spiritual wisdom. Coming from a historical perspective, consider Jesus as a man on a spiritual life journey. The stories say he discussed spiritual ideas with the religious elders at a very young age. You can imagine he wasn't at all like the other children and teens. He understood the spiritual and physical world at a far deeper level than anyone his age and perhaps just about anyone older than him. You can imaging that he would be frustrated that others just didn't get it like he did.

When people came to him for healing, he could sense their physical energy and mental and spiritual perspectives. He knew what people were feeling, if they wanted healing, and what to do to help them. As a man, he could very well have been mystified by these gifts no one else possessed.

There were times he simply had to leave the crowds and be alone. Sound like your experiences?

He very likely had a sense of a big purpose because he had such deep wisdom and many gifts. But can you imagine that, as he lived through each day the best he knew how, he did not fully understand his purpose? Can you imagine that he would feel frustration or confusion as he went on his journey one day at a time without knowing the end result? Imagine that as a man he never knew that his actions and his death would have a worldwide impact.

So, if your journey is hard, or hot then cold, or seems to have no direction or purpose, you're in good company. What if you held that the purpose of your life is being revealed in just the right timing? And that you are living it every day? Will you allow that to bring you some peace?

This article is brought to you by PERSONALS.